We had another one of those stories in the news the other day. You know the one where a couple of high school girls admitted that they had become sexually involved with their adult male coach. I have heard these stories throughout my thirty-year career so it’s nothing new. It happens way too frequently. A local radio station called me and asked if I’d comment on what this was about. It got me thinking.
Over the years I’ve had innumerable high school girls complain to me that the high school boys “are so immature.” And it is a fact that girls this age grow and develop more rapidly than boys. It’s why the high school senior boys frequently date the sophomore girls but the senior girls rarely date the sophomore boys. It just doesn’t work that way.
So with this sense that the high school boys are immature the twenty or thirty something male teachers and coaches seem, to many of the high school girls, so much more sophisticated. These girls often feel that these older guys are more their peers than guys their age. And if these men are of the inclination to take advantage of the situation they can use these circumstances to their advantage. Too many do.
The host of the radio show asked, “what should parents do?” I said, “Tell your daughters about the creeps. Make sure your daughters know that there is something wrong with these guys. They are not cool. For them this is not about love and romance it’s about sex and power. Make sure your daughters know
There are so many messages that we have to communicate to our kids. It seems a shame that this is a crucial one but it is. Use “teaching moments” such as the news report the other day. Tell them you read this blog about male teachers or coaches preying on young women and use it as a reason to talk with them. Use your own experiences of when you have seen the tragedy of such a situation. But whatever you do, please don’t hesitate to warn your daughters about the creeps.